Brenda's Three Words for the Coming Year

Yesterday I went up on the hill. I took my time getting there by a route I’d never taken before, one that would be foolish in the summer for all the rattlesnakes, but that has a singularly different view this time of year. A view of the home place. Buffalo, grass, the frozen creek, the house and barn, the orchard, the old schoolhouse, Harney Peak in the distance. Harney Peak is best known for being the tallest mountain in South Dakota, right up tight behind Mount Rushmore, but for me it is the mountain where Black Elk saw. 

I climbed to the top and sat below a tree, a prayer flag already tied there. I pray here, and each time I end my prayers and open my eyes, I’m amazed all over again at the beauty of coming back from wherever I went. I don’t think too much on it, just wonder. I’ve asked before where it is that I go when I’m praying and Everett’s answer is, “where do you think you go?” This is typical.

I started down, this time by a route I’m familiar with, one that often holds cat tracks. Lately there’s been a cat visiting our place; sometimes the horses get all fluffed up and run from one end of the pasture to the other with only the scent of the cat chasing them. He’s brave enough to cross between the shop and house while one of us is out working in the yard and he thumbs his nose at us with the scat he leaves behind.

So, I was aware of him on the hill with me as I started down. I was walking and thinking about how our family thinks of the cats as ghosts, when all of a sudden I got the sudden urge NOT to turn around.

What a backwards thought! Every nature sage will tell you, “let the cat know immediately you’re aware of it, make yourself big, back away, don’t run”. In direct opposition to everything I’d ever ingested about living with cats, I was getting the clear call to ignore him, and leave my back open for attack.

This was an almost impossible call to follow. I’m brave, I’m curious, I'm alive! I don’t ignore things that might threaten me. I meet life head-on. And yet, here I was, with a clear call, “don’t look back.”

So, I didn’t look back. I kept walking with a little smile in my heart and gratitude for the lessons I’ve learned here the last few years. Some that included not looking back as I headed into the spirit world. I knew if I trusted this call, there would be gifts.

Last night, my husband, John, was driving home from work and as he neared the house, his headlights caught the distinct glow of big animal eyes. He turned the truck to aim his lights down in the creek bottom and there he was, the big cat, the one who’s been taunting us, leaving his kill piles and scat behind. It’s the first time we’ve seen him, a moment to be thankful for, a simple gift from a ghost.

You might think my three words for the coming year are “don’t look back”. But, it’s more complicated than that. Sometimes we’re called to look back and sometimes we’re called to look forward. Always called, though, and then, even entreated to follow the call. 

It’s simple, and hard and wonderful - 2012 – Follow the Call.